Can A 21 Date A 18? (Yes, It’s Not Weird!)

Ever wonder if it’s okay to date someone a couple years younger? You’re not alone!

Dating someone who’s 18 when you’re 21 is a pretty common situation. It’s totally legal for consenting adults (that means 18 and over). Plus, the age gap is small, so you might have a lot in common.

But this specific gap has the potential to bring up more concerns too.

In this post, I’ll go over everything you need to know about 21 and 18 dating!

Is It Weird For A 21 To Date A 18?

No, a 3-year age gap is not weird at all. It’s actually quite common.

However, the ages 21 and 18 may still raise some eyebrows in some social circles.

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There can be negative judgments from friends about the maturity difference and assumptions about the motivations of the people involved.

Also Read: 16 and 18 year old dating

There may also be some double standards in terms of how an 18-year-old woman dating someone older is seen versus an 18-year-old guy doing the same thing.

The former may be more likely to be seen as the younger person being taken advantage of or not thinking clearly, whereas if the genders are flipped it may be more socially accepted.

That said, only SOME people think like this. Most DON’T.

IMO, I think it’s totally normal for an 18 year old to date a 21 year old.

All in all it really depends on the people involved. Are you both happy? Are your reasons for dating okay? 

Those things matter more than what other people think.

Power Dynamics

One of the biggest worries around relationships with an age gap, especially when one person is brand new to being an adult, is the potential for unhealthy power dynamics and one person taking advantage of the other. 

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Even a small age difference can create a situation where one person is more mature, financially secure, and experienced than the other

This can lead to the older person unintentionally or intentionally taking advantage of the younger one.

There might be idolization, a skewed view of the relationship, or difficulties in setting boundaries, which could result in mistreatment or abuse.

It’s really important for both people to be very aware of this risk. 

Keep an eye out for signs of trouble, like one partner controlling the other, keeping them away from family and friends, or disregarding their opinions and feelings because of their age.

Maturity And Life Stages

Even though you’re both adults, there are some big gaps psychologically.

An 18-year-old has likely just graduated high school, while at 21 someone may already have a couple years of college or working experience under their belt. 


Also Read: Dating a dentist

This difference in life experiences can mean variations in how independent they are, how much of the world they’ve seen, and their emotional maturity levels.

However, there’s a wide range of maturity levels at any age group. 

Some 18-year-olds show crazy levels of maturity because of the lives they’ve lived, while some people in their 20s still have a lot of growing up to do. 

Making big generalizations is unwise. 

The actual life experiences and emotional smarts of the specific people involved will matter way more than just their ages.

Bottom Line

So looking at all the pros and cons, is it possible for a 21-year-old and 18-year-old to have a healthy, ethical relationship? Absolutely!

But both of you need to demonstrate emotional maturity, open communication about the dynamics of the relationship and boundaries, and accountability for their actions.

The older person needs to be very conscious of not using their experience or being older to take advantage.

And the younger person should feel confident in their choices rather than acting submissive or letting themselves be controlled.

Also Read: is a movie a good second date?

FAQs

Is It Legal For A 18 To Date A 21?

Yes, it is legal for an 18 to date a 21.

From a legal standpoint, the 21/18 age gap is generally fine in most places since both people are above the age where they’re considered an adult who can consent.

Can A 21 Year Old Date A 18 Year Old In High School?

Yes you can. And it’s legally fine. But some high schools have rules about students dating non-students tho.

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